This story may or may not have a ring of truth from a personal experience.
To be honest, I don’t think anyone would beat your ass for smelling like shit on the Metro. They’d probably move to another train at the very next stop. But that’s about as active as Metro riders would get. We generally keep to ourselves.
Chili is one of my absolute favorite foods. However, should you eat it all day, it is quite possible that you will need to stay close to a rest room. I want to make it clear that it is a day of chili eating and not Ben’s Chili Bowl that is the cause of the bowel disruption.
If you are a fellow chili lover and you live in the area, I highly recommend Ben’s Chili Bowl. Local lore has it that Ben invented the half smoke sausage which is one of the best vehicles for chili. I don’t know if that’s true, but the Chili Bowl serves the absolute best chili smothered half smokes in the city. And they’re open wicked late. If I lived near them, I’d be heading over there right after I finish typing this post.
So now for the question that is known to start fist fights amongst chili enthusiasts. Beans or no beans?
Kane gestures with a smug grin on his face.
I have to know. Kane, exactly how did a porta potty save your life?
This is a perfect after lunch tale of woe.
A younger Kane stands in front of Ben's Chili Bowl.
Back in college, I spent a day eating nothing but chili from different restaurants in D.C. Because chili.
Kane holds his crotch and makes a face as he silently whispers to himself.
It caught up to me as I was walking across the mall late at night. I spotted a lone porta potty and made a run for it. But. Well.
KANE (In panel)
Didn't quite make it.
Exterior shot of the porta potty.
Fortunately, only a little leaked out. Got inside just in time for the rest of it to explode.
KANE (From porta potty)
Shot of Kane's crotch wrapped in toilet paper.
Chucked my boxers down the hole. I took as much toilet paper as I could to wrap my nethers so that I wouldn't stink up the ride home. And thus, a porta potty saved me from getting my ass beat on the Metro.