I’ve been staring at this fucking thing for hours trying to suss out the humor in calling a nine-year-old just nominated for Best Actress a cunt.  The only thing I can figure is that Quvenzhane Wallis is such an adorable sweetheart that calling her anything but is obviously a joke.  I guess?


Even in our enlightened new millennium, women deal with sexism on a near daily basis.  Women in the public eye, even more so.  I kind of get that the Onion was making fun of the culture that gets so wrapped up in the gossipy he said/she said bullshit of Hollywood and award shows, but this thoughtless quip of a tweet comes off as just more malicious gossip.  Also, Quvenzhane is nine!  She’s not even a woman yet and she has to deal with this bullshit!

The fucked up thing is that this kind of shit is just going to get worse as Quvenzhane gets older.  The more movies she stars in, the more she’s in the spotlight, the more haters will throw shade at her.  It’s sad to think that cunt may be one of the more tame things she’ll be called.  So I guess in some way, the Onion’s little joke is a fucked up introduction to things that are to come.  But I’m sure she has the strength to ignore the haters and just go on being as awesome as she is.

Really disappointed in the Onion.

UPDATE: The Onion Apologizes

The Onion issued a statement apologizing to Quvenzhane.  I’ll quote:

Dear Readers,

On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.

No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire.

The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again.

In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible.

Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry.


Steve Hannah
The Onion

Very classy, Onion.  And now I find sick humor in the fact that a CEO named Steve has to apologize for an employee being a shithead.

  • Marty Day

    The Onion has since apologized for the Tweet (which was removed about an hour after the post), http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/25/the-onion-apologizes-for-tweet-about-quvenzhane-wallis/

    That being said, I think the intent, although it clearly did not work, was to satirize how generally we on the web post shit talk about EVERYONE, especially female actresses. Just search for “Anne Hathaway” + “cunt” on Twitter for a small sampling.

    Was it fucked up that they said it about a 9 year old? Absolutely, but at the same time, I wonder how many people read it and agreed? Those RT’s and Favorites couldn’t have all been about the irony in the statement, right?

    I think the Onion likes to put an ugly mirror to us as a people, and this time, it was too far.

    And as anyone knows, if they just said 86 Year Old Emmanuelle Riva instead, we would have just laughed.

    A swing and a miss. And a really ugly miss in that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ann.sulaiman.1 Ann Sulaiman

    That this comes along with the pedophile “joke” from Seth MacFarlane on the same night doesn’t make any of this fiasco any better.

    I’d expect such a hateful comment from vicious schoolyard bullies, not the tweets of grown ups. Any child who goes to a ceremony like the Golden globes or the Oscars, where they’re in the rare position of being on equal par with adults because they’re there as an ACTOR or ACTRESS, should be treated with dignity and respect as they’ve come so far at their age.

    Child actors are even more vulnerable than their adult peers in this regard because their very acting lives are shaped and influenced by adults, be it family, agents, etc. Adults can either guide and encourage them (as was the case with the actress in ‘Little Miss Sunshine’, who was advised not to let the awards go to her head) or destroy them completely (as happened with Judith Barsi, who was the victim of paternal abuse and was threatened by her father if she moved away for her career, prior to eventually being killed by him).

    As adults we should be careful how we speak about creative people younger than ourselves, and especially in the name of non-PC humour it is not even okay to refer to anyone below the age of 18 as a cunt. Misogyny aside, that is outright child abuse, and we should take more care to stop child abuse.

  • FmF

    I just wounder what had to bin going through the guy mind when he type this.”Hay you know how hard it is fitting in as a kid and all the pressure that come along with it.Now imagine with all that you also have the media fallowing you around putting a whole new level of pressure on you.Lets add to that by calling them a cunt.”What is wrong with you?OK I don’t know who this kid is,I don’t know what movie she is in given i stopped caring about TV and movies a long time ago but even if she a bad kid why cunt?Was brat to main stream for you?If you really want to parody the Hollywood gossip BS why not say she got in a fight with Elmo and there going to be a restraining order court date a week from now.Then photo shot Elmo with a black eye.Or how about she led the cops on a 10 hour chase on her 10 speed.This isn’t hard people!