Honesty is the best policy, especially if you’re dating someone with superb knife skills.
Happy Birthday America!
Today, we celebrate the birth of our nation with hot dog eating contests and explodies! I hope it’s a fun and safe birthday for everyone. I’m a big fan of eating way too much on the 4th of July and watching explosions from the comfort of air-conditioning and bathrooms. I guess it would be pretty cool if I knew anyone who lived in a high rise near fireworks. I used to live on the top floor of an apartment complex which gave me an excellent view of at least three major firework displays every year. Lots of fun.
If you are crazy enough to venture out to the Mall today to enjoy the Folklife Festival and the fireworks, please bring plenty of water and bucket loads of patience. Remember, tourists may not know they’re supposed to stand on the right side of the Metro escalators.
And for everyone else who doesn’t celebrate the 4th, I made especially sure I updated for you!