How Do You Like Your Steak?

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to do a Peelander Z reference! They are my absolute favorite band in the entire universe!

I don’t know what’s wrong with Tara, but the proper way to order a steak is, of course, MEDIUM RAAAAAAAARE! Observe the karaoke version:

Anyone who goes to American University may recognize the local of their steak escapades, good ol’ 24hour Steak ‘n Egg. If you’re up at midnight or later working on comics and feel the need to sink your teeth into large portions of meaty things, Steak ‘n Egg is the place to go, especially now that the weather is nice at night for sitting outside. I’ve never been there when I wasn’t fucking starving in the middle of the night so I can’t really give an unbiased or accurate review. Alls I knows is that they saved me from fainting of starvation after a few DC area art fights on a few occasions which makes them fucking aces in my book. Someday, I’ll have to check them out at a normal steak-eating time.

Who am I kidding, all the time is steak-eating time!

  • Kyle Wright

    HAHAHHAHA That is so my mom’s side of the family. The motto goes: “When I poke my steak it should moo back at me”

  • Key

    Hhgttg reference? Or just coincidence/it on my mind.
    I find it weird when waiters engage me in conversation, since I’m there to talk to friends,not them. I wonder what it is like in reverse, when the customer insists they join in a convo they only half heard. Remember, your tip is riding on it!

  • Kyle Wright

    Well, if you keep doing the super artist editions for the books I guess I know which piece i’ll be picking. I sent her the page and she was super excited. Something about how “somebody finally understands” and “YES! The only way!” Today’s comic has a mother’s stamp of approval on it.

  • Jason

    But… Where on the cow did it come from? Rump tends to be better cooked slightly more than sirloin, in my opinion. Basically the more tender the steak, the less it should be cooked (but still hot throughout!)
    …In my opinion.

    Unfortunately, what (little) I have heard about American steak has tended towards the… Unencouraging. There was one lady who said that if she ordered her steak anything less cooked than “Well done,” she got it served uncooked. I want to know where she went for these experiences, so if I ever go to the States, I can AVOID them.

  • Vortigar

    That will always remain a problem, no matter where you go. One person’s definition of rare is not another’s. You’d think chefs would have solid outlines on how long or how hot you should cook a steak to achieve the various denominations. But practical experience tells me there really aren’t. Not just national differences but also among individual chefs.
    From stories I’ve heard from friends and co-workers, in the United States rare is more rare than anywhere else. A friend of mine married an American girl, he eats rare in the Netherlands and medium in the US (note: he has a penchant for exageration, the point still stands).

  • Barb

    I’m completely with Tara on this one — I like my steaks to have seen a picture of flame, then be tossed on a plate. The problem we have here in the States is excessive health regulations for the cooking of meats. It’s not that I want to catch food-borne diseases, but the places that only offer “medium” as the rarest option are a travesty. I usually can get around it slightly by asking for items “as rare as you’re allowed to cook it.” Often, my food choice will show up more appropriately pink. :D

  • Nurian

    “No, no, NO! You’re not listening to me! When I say I want it rare, I mean you bring it into the kitchen, it looks at the oven, it gets scared, then you bring it out to me!”

  • Nurian

    I had a friend say to a waitress once, “You know how people say they want their steaks flame-kissed? I want mine flame-friend-zoned.”

  • Jamie Noguchi

    Dawww! I don’t think I’ll be selling those anymore since no one has bought one. AH SHIT! I’ve got a page to send you!!!! Send me your addy again and I’ll get that shit out to you ASAP!

  • Jamie Noguchi

    It wasn’t intended to be a Hitchhiker’s reference, but I’ll just say it was so I appear to be more geeky!

  • radcake

    just order black and blue

  • Jamie Noguchi

    I think Medium Rare is always a safe bet in the US. Sometimes you get it a little on the done side, sometimes on the rarer side, but from my experience, that seems to work out pretty well.

  • Jamie Noguchi

    I don’t eat filet mignon often, but when I do, I always order it rare. Other than that, medium rare is my standard if only to shout really loudly “MEDIUM RARRRRRRE!”

  • addiecat

    I am also loving the Mad Tiger reference on his shirt!

    I’ve only gotten the chance to see Peelander Z once, but I will say it was one of the most fun shows I have EVER been to. I need to see them again. XD

  • BigNed

    My favorite steakhouse in the US is in Bradenton/Clearwater, FL, and was owned by a butcher, so they were their own supplier. This meant their prices were LOW. On their menu was a note to the effect of: We don’t recommend cooking any of our steaks past medium rare and will not vouch for the quality of your experience if you order your steak medium or well done.

    My favorite steakhouse ever is in South Africa and was a family chain restaurant. One of their items was the “hot rock filet” which was brought to your table raw on a hot flat rock which allowed you to cook it however you wanted. NOM.

  • John David Choat

    Wipe his ass and run him through the kitchen door.

  • toag

    Run mine through a warm room, i want to see cattle prod marks still on it!!!

  • Ray

    quite possibly the sexiest way to order a steak I have ever heard… m/ BRING IT TO ME MOOING!! m/ *headbang*

  • Chrysophase2003

    I believe Terry Pratchett described showing the cow a picture of a flame as wanting your steak blue, which is kind of like rare squared.

  • hswoolve

    “legal raw” is my preferred level of “cooked”

  • Maahes0

    Many places will undercook steaks slightly so that if you are not satisfied they can cook it a bit longer and not throw out the steak.

  • Miss Kimi

    How do you like your steak?

  • awesomemvs

    I’m a vegetarian but Tara cracked me up with that.

  • awesomemvs


  • radcake

    It’s called Black and Blue steak. It means seared about a minute on each side so the outside is black, but the inside is untouched, and so rare that it would still be cold and “blue” inside. I think it’s also called ordering a steak Pittsburgh style. For me, I can’t eat a steak unless its charred to the point that it’s a cross between jerky and a lump of coal.

  • Chrysophase2003

    Okay, but the blue part still confuses me. If the meat’s been so drained of blood that it no longer appears red, the steak’s not a fresh cut and should be sent back to the kitchen.

  • reynard61

    I used to like my steaks medium rare (or rare if I was in the mood); but after good ol’ President Ronnie pretty much deregulated the meat industry in the ’80s, I’ve decided that it’s simply too risky to eat *any* meat cooked less than “well done” anymore.

  • Tj

    Really? I was told by someone (probably my Dad–he knew someone who lived in France) that if you went to France and ordered a rare, they essentially served it black and blue.

  • awesomemvs

    conditions can get pretty gross, and animals are injected with increasing amounts of antibiotics to kill the increasingly antibiotic-resistant bacteria that comes from standing in their own waste, and animals are often diseased. They’re also fed corn, which they aren’t supposed to eat, and they produce more methane gas than normal. This is part of the argument militant vegans and vegetarians use to advocate going veg to save the planet.

    I’m a vegetarian and I know not everyone can support their family on my diet and not everyone’s body is the same. Also it’s a fact that the produce aisle is the most expensive aisle per-calorie, and vegetables are just hard to find in a lot of areas. Organic meat and meat that wasn’t treated with hormones or antibiotics is probably the best way to go, but again, not everyone can afford that, and after all, the rainforest is chopped for Monsanto’s roundup ready (pesticide resistant) GMO soybeans too.

    Plus, a lot of vegetarians are smokers and that contributes to 12% of global deforestation, takes up food crop fields and ruins the soil, gives the people (poor women and children) who pick it green leaf sickness and illnesses from the enormous amounts of pesticides they’re exposed to, plus millions of tons of trees are burned to “cure” it, cut down to package it, and of course the filters don’t biodegrade and are tossed into beaches and other natural areas and poison, choke, or otherwise harm birds and animals.

    I had to report on this and on how the tobacco industry is completely unregulated, so they’ve increased the nicotine content in cigarettes to unheard-of levels over the past 20 years and added sweeteners that turn into carcinogens when burnt. I’m giving you all this because…if any of us vegans or vegetarians tries to guilt-trip you for eating meat…and you see Marlboros in their jacket…:D

  • Jasmine P.

    I personally prefer well done but when Warren Ellis has a heat plate with this on it, it’s mildly compelling.

  • M

    Nah mate, cigarettes, at least in England, have got weaker over the last 20 years. They print the nicotine/tar on the sides and I do pay attention.

    I’m not saying that tobacco is good in any way, but you seem to have some scare stories mixed in with your truth.

    On the food front, I think it’s most sensible to maintain low food mileage, eat local, and try to ensure to source your food from responsible providers who don’t use all the hormones, agri-chemicals et al. This does tend to cost more, but if you reduce your meat intake to one or two meals a week (or cut it out altogether) you can keep the costs down.

  • awesomemvs

    Sorry man, but I’m a journalist. I don’t do scare stories. Among my sources was this report:
    But, my article was about tobacco consumption in the United States, not the UK. If you have different regulations there, that’s great.

    Here’s a graph of what I was referring to:

  • Chaddaï Fouché

    I have read several explanations, first in english you should just say “very rare”, blue just come from french where a steak cooked “bleu” is effectively seared on the outside (though not to the point of being charred normally) a very brief time. There seems to be competing hypothesis on the origin of the term : “en rester bleu” (to stay blue) used to means surprise so could indicate the “surprise” of the steak in such a fast cooking, another is that this come from the “blue blood” from noblemen (noble blood was “sang bleu”), a third is that blue allude to the colour of the flame needed to achieve such a brutal and fast searing (since blue flames are extremely hot).

  • Vortigar

    I’ve had a completely cold steak in France once. But that was just the once (been there often) so I chalked it up to that particular chef’s prediliction. Hmmm, seems to me there’s more research that needs to be done on this subject. Exhaustive delicious research.

  • FB

    i’ve told family members about this strip by grandfather and great uncle would have contests to have the rarest steak possible till the time the meat hit the table and the bone was still blue my gran put a stop to that

  • Doctor Gustav

    For some reason I’m now picturing her as the female version of the Demo-man from Team Fortress 2.

  • Rosalie M Town

    I probably only know this because I just discovered your comic this morning and have been reading it all day, but this is not your first Peelander Z reference. That is all.

  • Jamie Noguchi

    LOL! Oh man, now I’ve gotta figure out where the first one is.