Everything Kane says is a version of something I have once said to women without realizing how fucking stupid I sounded OR that they were hitting on me. Well, except that last one. The first one was particularly heart breaking because I spent an entire night working up the courage to ask this girl to dance when she was clearly eyeing me THE ENTIRE NIGHT and when I finally get her on the dance floor, I bust out the “this is boring” line. To be fair, the song was terribly lame. But the damage was done.

I reveal one of my great weaknesses with this comic. And it’s not the making an ass of myself in front of women. I can’t draw real people for shit. I can draw fake people and people that I make up. But when it comes to drawing likenesses of actual people, I can draw myself and that’s about it. If you make the mistake of asking me to draw you at a convention, you will receive a thing that looks nothing at all like what you see in the mirror. Now I can kind of do cartoony versions of real people. But real people who kinda of really look like the real people, I am horrible at that.

You can probably guess the reference I used for the second panel which looks absolutely nothing like her, except maybe the hair. But I won’t embarrass myself by revealing my references for the other panels. Unless, of course, you guess that shit. Then I’ll tell you and run away in shame.

  • Kaji

    I will say the last one. Cause really, if you’re wearing something skintight with no bra and cleavage down to your navel, and get all pissed off if someone says anything about your nipples sticking out like viking spears from your mountains of mostly exposed flesh, you’re an idiot and I want nothing to do with you.

    If she laughs on the other hand, hey, she’s cool and you got her to laugh. Score.

  • OctaviusIII

    Yeah, club chicks are hard. Never go to a fantsy-pants club to pick up women. They all want a guy that looks a tad like a douche.

  • Awesome Music Vids

    Is it okay to say that I think they are reasonably drawn? The first one in particular is interesting in terms of face shading and expression.

  • Aenya

    I wouldn’t know about chicks that club, but I do know I hate GUYS that go clubbing. To me meeting a Kane-equivalent at a club would be a blessing, not a curse!

  • Dave

    Those are totally the best things to say, help weed out the people you wouldn’t get along with in the long run. I picked up mu girlfriend by talking about batman and animaniacs!

  • Fren

    Indeed! Dave’s on the mark. It all depends on what you’re hoping to accomplish, I’d suppose. If all you’re after is an “evening’s entertainment”, by all means, act like a douche-sack. Seems to reel ‘em in for some odd reason. For field research, see MTV’s “Jersey Shore” program seasons 1 through whenever-they-make-it-stop.

  • Jamie

    I’m making horrible generalizations about Ultrabar, but despite it’s Ultra name, everything I’ve read about it seemed to indicate a distinct lack of geek friendliness. I did way too much research on the place for just a little facade drawing last comic!

  • SK3

    I’m going to take a stab at guessing them.

    Halle Berry, Allie Larter, Renee Zelweger (Bridget Jones days),and Angelina Jolie.

    I suppose 3 reminds me of Felicia Day, and 4 of Monica Bellucci too…

    How’d I do?

  • Jamie

    Ah! I didn’t think she looked like Felicia when I finished her, but yes, panel 3 is based on Felicia Day. The rest are are not quite right, but that’s probably more my fault than anything.

  • Jordan


    Or closer to our nerdy hearts, Richard Feynman. Dude had an entire chapter about how he learned to pick up women by being a jerk.

  • Punkie

    But when it comes to drawing likenesses of actual people, I can draw myself and that’s about it.

    Um, so you can only be original? Yeah, THAT’S a handicap in the art world… :P

  • Rarar

    And this is EXACTLY why I never go to dating at clubs. The only thing club girls like is perforated eardrums.