Ballistic Pasta
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Ballistic Pasta

July 5th, 2010 [ Tags: , , ]

“Ballistic Pasta” is one of my favorite random terms that I’ve ever coined. At least, I hope I’m the first. It’s fucking funny.

I’m not entirely sure how “nice” macaroni and cheese is, but I guess if the cheese sauce is homemade, that can be pretty damn impressive. Oh, and if there’s a nice baked crunchy crust on top, that shit is the BOMB! Too bad Bodie never made it that far.

↓ Transcript

Transcript: English

PANEL 1

BODIE is hunched over looking very tired.

KANE Off panel Mornin’ Bo– damn! You look wrecked!

BODIE The internet can provide infinite recipes. However, it cannot teach you how to cook.

KANE Off panel Coffee! Stat!

PANEL 2

KANE and BODIE are walking outside, coffees in hand.

KANE Look, man, I’m sure it’s not that bad.

BODIE Oh no?! My mac and cheese exploded!

PANEL 3

Flashback scene of a pot exploding with macaroni flying all around a hunched BODIE.

KANE Caption Exploded? Like how?

BODIE Caption Like exploded! Like rapidly expanding at a high velocity in an outwardly direction from the pot to every surface of my kitchen, exploded!

PANEL 4

KANE and BODIE look at each other.

KANE Yikes! So you went all Iron Chef on it.

BODIE JULIE’s coming over tomorrow so I thought I’d cook something nice.

PANEL 5

KANE throws up his hands while BODIE folds his arms and scowls.

KANE Ah! I see! Nothing says “nice” like Ballistic Pasta for two!

Written by Jamie

14Comment



  • Kimba

    I’ve never had pasta ballistic, but I did have the tomato sauce for pasta get too hot and… “explode” a bit… burned a finger or two at it.

  • WHassinger

    There’s a place near me (called Uncle Jay’s Twisted Fork) which does what I would call a fancy mac & cheese involving pancetta and a cheese sauce made with asiago.

  • mofo

    I can’t even imagine how something like that could be achieved. Worst thing I’ve done in the kitchen was turning a pan of sugar into a smoking-smelly pot of carbon. That smoke sure was something, btw…

  • Minato

    Well I DID see a person who burned a pot by boiling water. But I suppose ballistic pasta is more fun :D It would actually make for a pretty awesome date ;D Giving The girl a sense of superiority haha.

  • Jenova

    @Jamie
    At least I did never hear of “Ballistic Pasta” before. ^^ (that term cracked me up…)
    There is a story about a “Tin-Bomb” my aunt told me once. Someone was trying to warm up a tin of meat or something like that putting it (still closed) into a pot of hot water…
    FORGETTING THE WATER… some time later the pot was glowing red and the tin exploded…litteraly…

    @Mofo
    I can imagine things like that, but not exactly with noodles and cheese… ^^
    My guess would be, that those happen, because people are not aware enough what they do and what not. I didn´t burn myself while cooking for the last 4-5 years, or let something slip or stuff like that. Awareness is everything… ^^

    @Minato
    An awesome date? oO
    Most girls I know would run away from that pretty quick, exploding kitchens an food are to much for most “normal” people. ^^
    I find it kinda intriguing, that you think ballistic pasta to be fun, but i guess we are all freaks here. ^^
    We have to someday cook together and see what we make of it and let the rest of the commenters (and jamie of course) to test it or something…
    (Wait am I trying to create the first kind of Yellow Peril Cooking Contest? I shoud stop here… ^^)

  • Dale

    My flatmate in halls once forgot about the rice he had on the hob, it boiled dry and proceeded to fill the kitchen with dense blue smoke. That did not smell nice, took us ages to vent too, and the smell lingered for weeks.

    My girlfriend managed to set fire to her oven when toasting coconut, which involved a visit from the fire brigade… and some relentless mocking from her family.

    I, however, have been lucky, avoided any such catastrophes… though I did just remember that I once managed to set fire to the fat in a grill tray when cooking bacon under the grill – but hardly catastrophic.

  • Anonymous

    The vertical panel boundary between the first and second panel is missing, making it a little confusing to read the 2 word balloons that cross it. Otherwise, funny stuff!

  • http://www.el-cuervo.com Drezz

    I noticed the jammed dialogue too. You may want to doing a few edits to the text to shorten it, or do a few dry runs before inking.

    Another tip – avoid hyphenation as much as possible. It disrupts the flow of the conversation.

  • http://ypcomic.com Jamie

    Yeah, that first panel I may have to rework a little. Trying hard to compress my dialog so it’s not so wordy. Things tend to sound better in my head. Ah well.

  • keysmash

    @Dale YOu think that a grease fire is the least catastrophic of those examples? Sounds the scariest to me, especially since you weren’t near a smoke alarm to have ppl automatically come rescue you.

    The I BURNED IT by toasting disasters can be avoided if you remember that most likely you will forget the bread/nuts/random toasted ingredient and burn a round of it. so do it first with no other distractions and buy 5x as much as you think you need, just in case.
    White sauces need white wine in it, any macncheese that you cant taste the sherry in just seems flat, one note flavor.

    @Jenova would the competition involve the best food or the most outrageous disaster?

  • Nurian

    “Ballistic Pasta for Two” sounds like a great band name.

  • http://ypcomic.com Jamie Noguchi

    HAH! That’s the name of my Dean Martin cover band!

  • Jared Mastin

    My worst cooking disaster was deciding to make hashbrowns at 2am while being half asleep. Wandering out of the kitchen in a daze while heating oil in a skillet is not a good idea. Grabbing the skillet that has turned into a towering inferno and running around like an idiot isn’t a very good idea either.

    I should have just left it to burn out on the stove top, but there’s something about the dancing light and fwooshing noise of the fire that disrupts all logical thought. Fortunately it only resulted in a burnt carpet and the loss of a few hairs on my hand.

  • http://ypcomic.com Jamie Noguchi

    2am hashbrowns is a risk I would totally be willing to make. I’m glad you didn’t burn your house down!